The Number Three

When you are pregnant, you receive oh-so many tidbits of advice.

Generally speaking, these words of wisdom come from well-to-do women in line at the grocery store.

Haha, just kidding. EVERYONE has some sort of quip, quote, or quirk to share.

While pregnant with my little chicken, people would invariably comment on how busy i was about to be, 

how nice it would be to get a girl, and how easy it was to go from two kids to three.

Well, they were right on two counts. 

1. It is f*#ing busy, having three little souls need you all at the same time is an exercise in motion.

constant motion. Get this clean that cut this up into little cubes wipe wash rinse repeat.

2. And we did get a girl, but we didn't give a damn either way.

What they were wrong about is saying anything about three kids is easy.

Upon reflection, two kids was easy. One kid? piece. of. cake. 

But three? Forget it. My head explodes on an hourly basis. 

Especially when they all cry at the same time.

And then the dog starts howling along....

But then there's this:

And it's all worth it.

at least until someone pees on the carpet, takes someone else's toy, 

or tries to 'kiss' the baby, with their fist.

So if you see me, don't ask if i'm getting any sleep.

I'm not. If it's not one of the tiny humans up in the night its the damn dog barfing on the carpet.

But know that if you need a sippy cup of apple juice, a one armed hug, a kick-ass homemade halloween costume, or a spanking,

i'm your girl:)

The Big One

Dear Emmitt,

one. whole. year.

12 months, 365 days, 82.359 sleepless nights, 3920 dirty diapers, endless loads of laundry,

countless hours and minutes and seconds of you, my little love.

 the night before your first birthday, i softly kiss your head as i tuck you into your crib.

i remember the same night just one short year ago, when i had yet to lay eyes on your sweet face.

i had dug out all the old things, the jakie things. 

 plush blankets, baby swing. teeny tiny green and yellow clothes and shoes and jammies. 

some still smelling faintly of babe, sweet.

the rickety old bassinet that has cradled so many precious heads was set up beside the bed,

i was ready. you weren't:)

you were giving me a hard time then, one year ago,

and i had already been in labour for the better part of a day.

it would be another day yet before i would get to meet you, but it was worth it.

one whole year of joy and light and excruciating love.

one whole year of you.

{ Photo Courtesy of Lyndsay Doyle Photography }

Ten Months

...10 days late:)

Dear Emmitt,

as we tick off the milestones (rolling crawling teething walking and my very very favorite: kissing:) 

i can't help but cringe at the thought of your first birthday, fast approaching.

it all just happens so fast! even when i think i know all about speed, i still get whiplash.

you took your first steps the other day, 10 months and 6 days old. way way too young!

and while you are not yet dashing from place to place, i have a feeling life is about to speed up even more.

i catch myself lamenting my lack of time, how nothing gets done and i'm always behind,

but then i think of your brother going to preschool soon, and how short this time in our lives really is.

so i live with the messes, the dirty floors and full sink.

and hey, you make it all okay:)

On Meeting Someone Special

Six months ago we met for the very first time:

And my life has never been sweeter.

Happy Half Birthday my sweet sweet Boy!!!

xo

5 Months

Dear Emmitt,

it never ceases to amaze me, how quickly babies grow and change and grow some more;

how different you are from just a few short weeks ago!

you are rounding out and fattening up, and all that dark hair you showed up with a few short months ago is disappearing,
being replaced by that beautiful blond Covey boy hair that your brother has made so famous.
your cheeks are full and tremendously kissable, as are your knees and toes,
your tummy, fingers and nose....

your smiles are bigger, giggles last longer and squeals are much louder these days,

and you interact so much more with the world around you.

you love lying on the bed while your brother bounces up and down around you,
and though i'm scared he's going to land on you, when it does happen it's not like it's going to be the last time anyways...
so bounce away jake, just watch out for your little brother okay? always?

some days we have it all figured out, you and i and jakey.
then there's those days, the other days, when the figurative shit hits the fan, the real shit hits everything,
and everybody (including myself) cries at the same time.

but then you smile your oh-so-sweet smile, your brother returns once again to his sublimely snuggly self,
and i fall in love all over again....

On Little Boys, and Motherhood...

yes it's silly. it's a crappy grainy iphone picture. but it might be one of my 

favourite. photos. ever. 

of all time.

because this is what life looks like around here, every morning. 

i love that there is a two year old draped around my neck. i love that he is happy. 

it's there, in his face.

i love this intimacy that is motherhood; the constant state of attending to little bodies. 

the way they smell after a bath, those flushed after-nap cheeks. 

how i can smooth stray locks of hair, pick them up and smother them with kisses whenever i want, 

give nose rubs or tickle tiny tummies... 

at any given moment i am usually in direct contact with a little body. 

a little boy.

sure, sometimes it doesn't always smell great around here. 

sometimes i wish i had less little boy time and more me time. 

and sometimes that little boy is more of a monkey on my back that i care to admit. 

but it's hilarious. 

it's pure and wild and fierce, this little boy love.

and if i don't take these crappy iphone pictures,

how quickly it will all fade.

so i take them,

and stash them away for later, when there are no more sticky fingers in my hair.

for when no one calls me mommy any more.

i take them to remind myself of this time, of these perfect little boys.

because it won't be like this for long....

Four Months

Dear Emmitt,

A chunk a chunk of man you are turning into!

There are the best little giggles and squeals, and you love to be tickled under your armpits.

You roll over onto your belly but get stuck there, then get really MAD about it.

You started to suck on your fingers, your thumb, a soother, but haven't really committed yourself yet.

And you love to talk, we have been having great convos lately, mostly about how smitten i am with you.

I think you feel the same.

 But it is hard, juggling you and your brother. 

And as much as i love this stage of sweet smiles and giggles, i catch myself wishing it away;

wishing you were bigger, that you could be set down for a minute, that you could run and play with your brother.

But then i kiss your sweet cheeks (and your chin and your lips and your nose and your head and your belly...),

smell your delicious baby smell, and you breathe your sweet milk breath on my face,

and i change my mind.

I want you to stay this little forever :)

3 Months

Dear Emmitt,

This is all happening far too quickly, wasn't it just yesterday that we met for the first time?

Things are moving much faster this time, despite my best efforts to slow it all down and drink it all in.

This month has brought many challenges amongst the joy.

There has been so much sickness: thrush and impetigo and now a nasty cold,

but somehow it just doesn't faze you in the least; your eyes still shine clear and bright

and you always seem to have a smile at the ready.

You could certainly teach your brother a thing or two about sleeping through the night,

despite everything you've been through you eat and grow and sleep and grow some more : ) 

For all of those i am thankful.

We are settling in to our new little life, you and me, jake and your daddy. (and the Hannah Dog too)

It's a cozy little life indeed...

It's 8:30am...

 I have been up for 2 and a half hours already. 

There has been no less than 2 diaper explosions; someone big went pee on the potty but forgot to
tuck it in, so pee went everywhere except in the potty;
someone little peed while being changed, peeing on the change table, me and all over himself;
I have had poop on both hands, am exhausted, and if I hear anyone yelling "naked boy! naked boy! naked boy!"
followed by "Mommy clean it" one more time....

Fast forward a few days....

Once again it is 8:30 am, 8:24 to be exact. I have had small hands touch me after said small hands have been in pee; 

i have been barfed all over, then peed on while applying lotion to someone little. 

Unfortunately I wasn't quite paying attention at this exact moment, and thus applied not just lotion but pee also.  

Don't judge me. I am easily distracted by naked boys threatening to poop.

There has already been a bath and i have 5 loads of laundry to do, two of which are from this morning alone....

And that is all before 9am. Welcome to my day..

I get slobbered on, peed on, barfed on.

I clean pee off toilet seats, poop out of carpets and unidentifiable substances out of the couch.

I do uncountable loads of laundry, clean the toilet multiple times a day,

and don't even get me started on the kitchen...

But i get this:

And it's all. completely. worth it : )

Two Months

Dear Emmitt,

as i am writing this you are sitting in your bouncy chair smiling at me.

It is very distracting, in the best kind of way.

Another whole month of you! I simply adore you more and more as each day passes, 

and am still ridiculously over the moon for you.

Patience has come easily this time; it's ok if you wake up in the middle of supper, poopy diapers are all in a day's work, 

bath time doesn't give me heart palpitations, and 5am isn't such a bad time of day.

I am happily soaking in these moments of being a mommy to two little boys.

You are growing and growing; eating and sleeping better than your big brother ever has,

and tipping the scales at 13lbs. 7oz. (80th percentile), 25 inches long (100th percentile!)

I am amazed with your strength and your quiet, strong and sweet.

And your smile knocks my socks off, every single time.

xoxo, mom.

2012

2012 was another epic year of change and growth. 

Another bump was grown, another baby born, another beautiful boy added to our family. 

I feel wonderful about where we are in life. We might not have a ton of money, but we are lucky beyond our wildest imaginings.  

Being a mom to two little boys is more than i could have ever asked for, and it is what i've always wanted to be.  

This new year is all about them. 

I have watched Matt grow into his role as a father, especially in the past few months since Emmitt has arrived. 

I fall more in love every time I see him snuggling one of them on the couch, on the four wheeler with Jake, 

or building a skating rink for 'his boys'.  I cannot wait to watch them grow up with him as their dad. 

They are lucky little boys indeed...

The past few years have been an amazing whirlwind of bumps and babies and building,

filled with so much love i'm not sure that this house can possibly contain it.

I cannot wait to see what the new year brings...

Take it Outside

There are times when this kid is exasperating, stubborn, and totally strong willed.

There are times when i am frustrated and annoyed,

and moments when i am utterly and completely exhausted by him (and his sibling-to-be).

But to see him outside, exploring the world and LOVING every minute of it, is to see with new eyes.

This is what it is to be a mom, to have another chance at firsts.

I always manage to put all of that negativity aside, and no matter how tired, irritated, or overwhelmed I may be, 

I can always find it in myself to follow him around the yard, throw rocks in a puddle, blow bubbles,
or teach him how to blow the seeds off a dandelion.

Because I know that sooner than i will ever be ready, he's not going to want me to follow him at all...

{ This or That }

What a Difference...

...a year makes....

Then:

Now:

sigh. 

This or That Thursday

Dear Jake, On Your Birthday

Just as my due date came and went, an entire year has come and gone.

You are no longer a baby, but a boy.

 A little one to be sure, but a boy nonetheless.

It makes me sad to think about how fast this year of you has gone,

how quickly those hazy crazy baby days went.

And while there were parts I could have done with out 

(think milk gifts re-gifted, all that quality time at 2am, and 

those surprises you had for me that never stayed fully in your diaper...)

there were all of those astounding, heart-bursting, life altering moments that I'll never forget.

I remember watching you struggle to push yourself up, so proud when you succeeded.

Seeing those first wiggles as you tried to crawl,

and those first oh-so tentative steps (not so long ago!)

Listening so hard to hear your first word - of course it was Haaa-naaah.

I love the way your hair looks when it falls over your ears,

or how it catches the wind when we throw you straight up in the air.

Your cheeks, flushed and lined from your sheets in the morning, smiling at me.

And when you walk around in your itsy-bitsy jammies, or fall asleep on my shoulder at night.

Your first smiles blew me away, your giggles do it to me everytime,

and everyday you still take my breath away.

I can't wait to keep growing with you.

xo, mom.

The Times They Are A-Changing...

I remember a time in my life when the time change ( in the fall anyways )

 was always a cause for great celebration. 

A whole extra hour of sleep, going to work an hour later, 

certain (ahem) establishments i frequented would be open later.... 

The benefits to 'fall back' were immense, I mean what's not to love?!

Note, however, the use of past tense...

What i discovered this year is that although the clock on the wall might change,

the clock in our darling babe's heads stays exactly the same.

So although the clock on the wall reads 5am, 

the clock in the little babe's brain says "it's time to wake up."

And although waking up to his tousled hair and those flushed little cheeks is a wonderful way to start the day,

  it is a bittersweet realization that there is no longer cause for great celebration,

only a cause for greater amounts of caffeine ; )

Ordinary Inspirations & Tones on Tues

To Teethe or not to Teethe

On May 22nd we heard the first clink of tiny teeth hitting a water glass.

Since then we have waited and waited for more of these tiny buds to emerge,

but alas, we have been waiting in vain. 

134 days later, still no more teeth!  

(Sorry dude, not the most flattering pic)

Not that we're in any rush though, I'm happy to let my baby be a baby for as long as he wants, 

i'm secretly hoping he'll take his sweet little time growing up...

Besides, he looks pretty darn cute with just the two!

What have i become?!

I have become one of those people. 

You know, the ones who laud the new mother in the grocery store with advice,

inundating the poor woman with phrases like "it goes by so fast" or "enjoy them when they're that small"

or even "soon he'll be asking for the car keys".  

blarf.  whatever, i totally did it.
 i bet you have too...

I remember all too well hearing all of those things and more and smiling,

pretending that oh yes, i knew all about how quickly time passes and how i'll miss these days.

The reality is that i had no idea how fast the clock would spin,

or how fleeting these moments really are.

So I have tried my best to live in these moments, capture all the milestones, 

and record as much as humanly possible of my little persons' life.

and I think (for the most part) i have been successful...

So the next time someone approaches me in the grocery store or at the mall
and bombards me with such wisdom, i will smile and nod,
and pretend that i do indeed know just how
fast this ride really goes.

You know you're a mom when...

...you have no idea what day of the week it is,
let alone the actual number that is associated with said day.

...you never pee alone.

...you find yourself showering, scrubbing toilets, or folding laundry at 10pm

...there's some sort of babyness on your shirt and you 

actually debate not changing.

...you talk about poop. a lot.

...the names of your favorite tv shows all have rhymes.

...people forget to acknowledge you.

...you spend your days with someone who has cooler shoes than you.

...you find yourself on your couch on a saturday night,

eating baby arrowroot cookies 

and drinking wine.

...you realize you have the best job in the world.

Please step away from the sink

Lately things around here have seemed a little crazy,
and i have come to the conclusion that it is entirely my own doing that is becoming my undoing.
Have you ever been there? to that deep dark place where the laundry monster or the desire to create something amazing take over and turn you into a weird parallel person?
There are just so many things to do in the course of a day that it's easy to loose perspective.
And while all these things to do and thoughts and ideas are looking for a place to happen,
LIFE is swirling all around me, chubby cheeks and all.

Far too often i find myself preoccupied with my next blog post or project or photo op
or even my next load of laundry (yes, it is that bad) to realize.

I think about how i should be LIVING in the MOMENT, but the next second, bam,
i'm off onto the next thing and have abandoned the moment altogether.
It's difficult to have an attention span when there are so many things to pay attention to.

But here's the catch:  I like it.
I like constantly having a project on the go or a post percolating in my head
or a really cool idea that demands my attention; i like being busy and checking things off my to-do list.
These things wrench me away from the sometimes mundane business of being a mom.
I guess like anything else in life it's all about finding that balance, walking that fine line.

That sweet little thing that just peed on me?
the most amazing thing that ever happened and that he won't be like this for long,
these times are so fleeting....

Regardless of how often i tell myself that THIS is where it's at,

i still wonder if i'm doing enough, if i'll ever be able to fit it all in.

 I imagine this is something a lot of women (especially mothers) stuggle with - 

the desire need to be in twenty places at once, the drive to get everything done in a neat

 and orderly fashion and do everything for everyone.

Meanwhile, LIFE barfs all over our shoulder and pees on our hand,

 but we're too busy cleaning it up to notice.

So i am going to learn how to step away from the sink.
Ignore the piles of laundry and the photos that need to be edited and the dirty floors,
and take a step towards my Little bit and towards being a better mom.
Because i'm only his mommy this one time, and it won't be like this for long...

Trendy Tuesday v3

Take Two

I think he's got the whole model thing down,

now I may be biased, but I think he's totally got the look.

Baby of the Year onsie - Gymboree
stretchy jeans - Please Mum

Active Unit Rangers onsie - the Children's Place
jeans - Baby Gap

It's funny how much time I can spend just staring at him,

daydreaming about what he's going to be like when he grows up.
It's both utterly terrifying
 (I was a teenager once and my parents will happily tell you how bad I was)
and so exciting at the same time.

I will do my best to teach him to be a strong, compassionate, patient and loving man.
Fortunately he has an amazing man who is all of those things to look up to,
and I know Dr. Nails will show him how.

I am in love with watching this little piece of us grow...