Three

A few weeks ago my someone small turned three.

He loves to 'nuggle, saves up his kisses for me, and still gets me to kiss him better,
even though he's figured out that it doesn't actually make it go away.

somehow he's not so small anymore:)

so smart so sweet so big
so. much. love.

The Big One

Dear Emmitt,

one. whole. year.

12 months, 365 days, 82.359 sleepless nights, 3920 dirty diapers, endless loads of laundry,

countless hours and minutes and seconds of you, my little love.

 the night before your first birthday, i softly kiss your head as i tuck you into your crib.

i remember the same night just one short year ago, when i had yet to lay eyes on your sweet face.

i had dug out all the old things, the jakie things. 

 plush blankets, baby swing. teeny tiny green and yellow clothes and shoes and jammies. 

some still smelling faintly of babe, sweet.

the rickety old bassinet that has cradled so many precious heads was set up beside the bed,

i was ready. you weren't:)

you were giving me a hard time then, one year ago,

and i had already been in labour for the better part of a day.

it would be another day yet before i would get to meet you, but it was worth it.

one whole year of joy and light and excruciating love.

one whole year of you.

{ Photo Courtesy of Lyndsay Doyle Photography }

Eleven

Dear Emmitt,

you aren't so into sitting still these days, so it's amazing you didn't fall out of this chair during our shoot:)

we have moved you in with your big brother, bunkmates!
nothing has been thrown at you while you sleep (yet), and magically everyone is sort of sleeping better.
i opened my eyes to see an 8 on the clock instead of a 6 and figured i was dreaming a beautiful dream.
but it was real. oh my.

you totter around the house, usually yelling, giggling, or making car noises,
trailing crumbs and snot wherever you go.
the dog makes you laugh, as does your big brother and when i chase you up the stairs.
and when you come in for an giant open mouth applesauce kiss
it's awesomesauce all over the place:)

Now quit growing!!!

Ten Months

...10 days late:)

Dear Emmitt,

as we tick off the milestones (rolling crawling teething walking and my very very favorite: kissing:) 

i can't help but cringe at the thought of your first birthday, fast approaching.

it all just happens so fast! even when i think i know all about speed, i still get whiplash.

you took your first steps the other day, 10 months and 6 days old. way way too young!

and while you are not yet dashing from place to place, i have a feeling life is about to speed up even more.

i catch myself lamenting my lack of time, how nothing gets done and i'm always behind,

but then i think of your brother going to preschool soon, and how short this time in our lives really is.

so i live with the messes, the dirty floors and full sink.

and hey, you make it all okay:)

9 Months

Dear blog and blog readers,

I am sorry i have been neglecting you so long, but you have to understand,

life is BUSY. and there are so many things that vie for my attention every day.

like keeping everyone alive.

seriously.  hey, so far so good.

then there's secondary things, like wiping the food off the baby's face;

letting the boy outside to pee, 'just like the hannah dog does mommy';

and photography. lots and lots of photography. oh the joy:)

(go HERE to see for yourself, and like away!)

So anyways, here i am, and though this is late its better than never....

9 Months:

Dear Emmitt,

oh how you make me laugh with your sweet smile and those 4 little teeth!

you are trying so hard to take your first steps, but just aren't quite ready, so close.
so often you think you are much bigger and older than you actually are,
trying to do things that you just can't do yet.
keeping up with your big brother might have something to do with it:)

i laugh every time i see you tackle him, drive a dinky,
or attempt to execute skilled manoeuvres while pushing around one of the ride-on vehicles.
the times when you try so hard and get left in the dust hurt my heart though.
i think that's a feeling as a mother i need to get used to,
but i hate it so.

as i watch you grow and learn i am constantly amazed with how quickly you are changing,
how fast you are growing up.

i am loving the precious soul you are proving to be.

8 Months

Dear Emmitt,

these days go by so fast, a blur of little boy, laundry, and laughter.

your little personality is starting to show, giving us a glimpse into the boy you are growing to be.

a noisy, dirty, loveable boy. 

this month signified a real change; from stillness to motion, quiet to loud, calm to whirlwind.

you are up the stairs and hanging off the furniture, climbing cruising and making messes,

often yelling and covered in food.

and as always, you are joy and light; 

smiles, giggles, chubby legs, drooley chin and all...

7 Months

Dear Emmitt,

we are officially over the hill, more than halfway to a year.

it seems so old when put that way, so dramatic. lets call it something else...

something smaller, something less. 

yesterday you started crawling.  totally. blew. my. mind.

i knew it was coming, but still... this seems so soon, so sudden even.

suddenly one day you were up; hands, knees, 

backwards and finally, forward motion.

such a short short time ago you were so impossibly small. 

your tiny world filled up with me.

now that world is movement and motion; buttercups, building blocks and green beans.

and though we will revolve around each other endlessly, 

i already feel a lengthening. i prepare myself as i watch you crawl away.

 it startles me, this headlong rush of yours.

how quickly your babyhood is seeming to fly. how fleeting this is.

so i try to remember these things;

how your hair looks so blond in the light, the way a wooden block looks in your small hand,

your toothless smile, the way you light up when i come back to you.

all these things. these little things.

my wild little love.

xo

Two Point Five

In this house (much to dr. nails' confusion) we celebrate half birthdays.

We might not have a big party, presents and balloons, 

or maybe we will, who's to say....

....but we definitely have cake, oh yes, there's always cake : ) 

Because it's not everyday that someone turns 2 and a half

 (even though that day was ahem, last week; to say i am a little behind around here would be

 the understatement of the year.)

Happy Half Birthday to my biggest little!

6 Months

Dear Emmitt,

i try to remember what your brother was like at this age,

how he looked and laughed, what his baby talk sounded like, if his lips were so kissable.

but it's all shadows and haze and sleepless nights.

but i see you. right now. right here. 

with your chub-a-chub-a cheeks and your gorgeous smile, 

your giggles and that funny noise you make right before you laugh.

and i wonder...
how will i remember all this when it's gone, when you're his age and we are all different...

this is why i post these pictures, and write these words for you.
to remember your littleness.

you are light and happy, and unbelievably adorable.

you just got your first tooth, like to roll across the floor and still love it when your brother jumps on the bed.
one day far too soon you will be jumping right along side him.
i can hardly wait to see the boy you'll be,
but adore the baby you are.

xo, mom.

5 Months

Dear Emmitt,

it never ceases to amaze me, how quickly babies grow and change and grow some more;

how different you are from just a few short weeks ago!

you are rounding out and fattening up, and all that dark hair you showed up with a few short months ago is disappearing,
being replaced by that beautiful blond Covey boy hair that your brother has made so famous.
your cheeks are full and tremendously kissable, as are your knees and toes,
your tummy, fingers and nose....

your smiles are bigger, giggles last longer and squeals are much louder these days,

and you interact so much more with the world around you.

you love lying on the bed while your brother bounces up and down around you,
and though i'm scared he's going to land on you, when it does happen it's not like it's going to be the last time anyways...
so bounce away jake, just watch out for your little brother okay? always?

some days we have it all figured out, you and i and jakey.
then there's those days, the other days, when the figurative shit hits the fan, the real shit hits everything,
and everybody (including myself) cries at the same time.

but then you smile your oh-so-sweet smile, your brother returns once again to his sublimely snuggly self,
and i fall in love all over again....

Four Months

Dear Emmitt,

A chunk a chunk of man you are turning into!

There are the best little giggles and squeals, and you love to be tickled under your armpits.

You roll over onto your belly but get stuck there, then get really MAD about it.

You started to suck on your fingers, your thumb, a soother, but haven't really committed yourself yet.

And you love to talk, we have been having great convos lately, mostly about how smitten i am with you.

I think you feel the same.

 But it is hard, juggling you and your brother. 

And as much as i love this stage of sweet smiles and giggles, i catch myself wishing it away;

wishing you were bigger, that you could be set down for a minute, that you could run and play with your brother.

But then i kiss your sweet cheeks (and your chin and your lips and your nose and your head and your belly...),

smell your delicious baby smell, and you breathe your sweet milk breath on my face,

and i change my mind.

I want you to stay this little forever :)

3 Months

Dear Emmitt,

This is all happening far too quickly, wasn't it just yesterday that we met for the first time?

Things are moving much faster this time, despite my best efforts to slow it all down and drink it all in.

This month has brought many challenges amongst the joy.

There has been so much sickness: thrush and impetigo and now a nasty cold,

but somehow it just doesn't faze you in the least; your eyes still shine clear and bright

and you always seem to have a smile at the ready.

You could certainly teach your brother a thing or two about sleeping through the night,

despite everything you've been through you eat and grow and sleep and grow some more : ) 

For all of those i am thankful.

We are settling in to our new little life, you and me, jake and your daddy. (and the Hannah Dog too)

It's a cozy little life indeed...