Three

A few weeks ago my someone small turned three.

He loves to 'nuggle, saves up his kisses for me, and still gets me to kiss him better,
even though he's figured out that it doesn't actually make it go away.

somehow he's not so small anymore:)

so smart so sweet so big
so. much. love.

Two Point Five

In this house (much to dr. nails' confusion) we celebrate half birthdays.

We might not have a big party, presents and balloons, 

or maybe we will, who's to say....

....but we definitely have cake, oh yes, there's always cake : ) 

Because it's not everyday that someone turns 2 and a half

 (even though that day was ahem, last week; to say i am a little behind around here would be

 the understatement of the year.)

Happy Half Birthday to my biggest little!

The Little Gets Big

Jakie turns two.

My mind is totally blown that two whole years have passed since this little person came into my life
and swept me off my feet. Oh i love him so....

"Johnny Tractor!!!!"

It seems impossible now that i ever lived without him.

The cake was a screaming success, thanks to Emily for the idea that i totally stole : )
And as you can see, a much better reaction than last year.
( and last year part 2 )

23 Months

.....which is almost two years....

The days fly by.
You grow and grow, and the baby i've known fades and fades.
We talk; there is back and forth, answers to questions, acknowledgement, and real understanding,
all voiced in a perfect little bitty baby voice, punctuated by random yelling, made up words
and so many things only i can understand.
We're speaking the same language.
at last.

I am a little sad that the days of just us are almost over,
and i am doing my best to cherish and savour every last minute of it.
Soon i'll have to start calling you "the Big"
as you're moving up in the food chain around here.
But you'll always be my baby...

22 Months

I um, feel like i just did this : ) so i will keep this short and sweet.

As we creep toward the big 2 things are changing faster than ever.

There are moments of clarity, when you totally understand me and i'm like, holy sh*t, you are SO SMART.

Then there are the moments of complete frustration when you blow your top and i struggle not to blow mine.

I am sure both will continue, the light will keep getting brighter and the blow-ups will just get bigger.

That's okay.  While i'm not sure what you are going to throw at me i am always ready to duck.

But i love to watch you learn/eat/sleep/play/read/run, and your many triumphs are mine as well.
You ARE so smart, have gorgeous hair, the best laugh and give the sweetest kisses.
I am wallowing in these last weeks where i have you all. to. myself.

 Now holy crap, could you just sleep through the night already?!?!


xo

21 (and a half) Months

I um, almost forgot to do this post, but figure better late than never. We'll just pretend, okay?

(i blame baby brain for all of my forgetfulness lately!)

21 Months

Talk talk talk talk talk talk talktalktalktakltaltkaltaktalktaltaktlaktkaktll......

Yes honey, we do know that the boat is gone.

It's like you are dying to have a conversation but just don't have enough words yet,

sometimes you just throw really random words out there:

"boat. hair. mommy. nanny. hat. gala(water). car-car. eye. hannah. button."

I guess this is considered a sentence.

Car car car car car car  car car TRUCK car car caracacracarcacarcarracrca......

Hours upon hours of playing with dinkies. 

Line them up, shove them under the couch cushions, run them across the window sill, drive drive drive.

Every now and then you actually even play with the hot wheels track daddy bought you.

Real cars are good too, and you talk about them a lot.

"daddy car-car gone!"

Yes honey, daddy's car is gone, and hey: the boat is gone too.

Play play play play play play play playplayplaypaypalyaplayaplayaplay......

With blocks, cars, trucks, sand, and especially water.

I used to think you went through a lot of clothes when you were new, now between the water and the mud box er, 

sandbox it's like three outfits a day, myself as well.

No honey, mommy is not a towel.

There are times when i feel bad because you are playing by yourself and will come to play with you,

only to have you take your toy to the other side of the room.

Independence suits you.  I will just read my book.

Sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep slepslepsleepsleppslepsplepsleep......

erm, wait a second, NOT!

I remember when you were really little and i thought i had it all in the bag and 

would blame the parents for their kid's crappy sleep habits.  Hopefully i didn't say it outloud.

You have never been a good sleeper.  Lord help me when there's two of you crying at 4 am.

"Mommy mommy mommymommymommymommy mommy!!!!  Milk!"

But you are sweet and happy and amaze me every day with your big smiles and giggly laughs.

If there is one trait your daddy and i passed on to you that means the most it is your ability to laugh.

(and i like to think you got my smile :)

Hold on to that my little.

xo, mom.

Dear Jake

Your eyes get me, every time.

Being your mom is the best thing i have ever been,
and i hope you think so too...

xo

Thirteen

Thirteen Months.

I feel like things have changed so much lately.

When i think of having a thirteen month old i feel funny inside,

and i'm all like, 'that's totally not my kid, he's just a baby, you must mean someone else...'

But then i look at you and you do something funny - on purpose - to make me laugh,

and i realize, 'whoa, i've got a little person here....'

whoa...

Your sense of humour is really starting to show,

and you like to laugh, even though it's sometimes a fake laugh 

just so you can hear us fake laugh back at you.

That's fun.

I am astounded at your energy.

You never stop moving, and the world is so interesting to you!

I get tired just watching you go, and i love trying to see things through your eyes.

What is so interesting about that tp tube?

Why do you like to eat dirt instead of this beautiful supper i made you?

Where the h%@#! are you going now?

There is so much music in your life,

you are surrounded by little drums you bang and horns you toot.

I catch you strumming my guitar in the bedroom, and you won't leave your dad alone when he plays.

Your aunty Sue and i watched you bust a move the other day, sadly it was to that 'i'm sexy and i know it' song, but whatevs,
you definitely have some rhythm.  

You snuggle sometimes, but are usually too busy.

You like to watch tv (way too much! and way too close!) and are starting to color, (sort of)

and i think you have inherited my sweet tooth.

You still like your books, hate getting dressed, and have started to drink your bath water.

But my favorite is when you are eating something good 

you clasp your hands and go 'mmmmmmm'. 

Keep growing my little buddy, and keep being amazing : )

Show off your shot

Dear Jake, On Your Birthday

Just as my due date came and went, an entire year has come and gone.

You are no longer a baby, but a boy.

 A little one to be sure, but a boy nonetheless.

It makes me sad to think about how fast this year of you has gone,

how quickly those hazy crazy baby days went.

And while there were parts I could have done with out 

(think milk gifts re-gifted, all that quality time at 2am, and 

those surprises you had for me that never stayed fully in your diaper...)

there were all of those astounding, heart-bursting, life altering moments that I'll never forget.

I remember watching you struggle to push yourself up, so proud when you succeeded.

Seeing those first wiggles as you tried to crawl,

and those first oh-so tentative steps (not so long ago!)

Listening so hard to hear your first word - of course it was Haaa-naaah.

I love the way your hair looks when it falls over your ears,

or how it catches the wind when we throw you straight up in the air.

Your cheeks, flushed and lined from your sheets in the morning, smiling at me.

And when you walk around in your itsy-bitsy jammies, or fall asleep on my shoulder at night.

Your first smiles blew me away, your giggles do it to me everytime,

and everyday you still take my breath away.

I can't wait to keep growing with you.

xo, mom.

Eleven

Eleven Months.

That's almost a year. Whoa.

I remember bringing you home in your little brown bear suit like it was yesterday.

You are still SO cute.  It totally astounds me.  However, I may be biased ; )

You took you first steps!

It happened on saturday in the kitchen.  

I cheered and you smiled your little smile, like it was no big,

just another day around the bay...

You are so much fun these days, it's outrageous.

I tickle you and you giggle, I laugh and you laugh too.

We spend our days playing and cracking up.
I love it.

Your smile can still take my breath away.
You give the girls your sweet slobbery kisses, but not so much the guys.
Seem's you are already a man's man.

You finally got more teeth! 

142 days after your two bottom teeth showed up, your third made it's debut,

shortly followed by your fourth.  And i think the fifth is there too, but you won't let me look.

Even though you don't have much in the teeth department your favourite food is steak,
must be the Albertan in you : )

Your dad and i always talk about waking you up at night because we miss you.

( not that we ever would, but still )

 We watch our videos and photos of you on the tv instead.
Like, all the time.  You're that cute.  Or maybe we're that weird.

Probably both.

Every day that passes makes you one day less a baby.
you wake each nap older, and every breath brings you closer to a little boy.
And while i cannot wait to meet the boy you'll be,
I so do love the baby that you are.

Ten

ten months

all of a sudden he's not so little anymore

and is looking more like a little boy than a little baby.

he likes to eat.  except anything i make him.

he will eat pieces of steak potatoes bread chicken cheese fruit veggies even meatloaf,
but apparently my attempts at making purees are crap.

i have never seen anyone like water so much, he chugs the stuff.
when he's crawling really really fast he sometimes gets hung up on his hands and faceplants. 

this would be funny if he didn't cry.

his little hands make the cutest slapping sound on the floor.
remote controls are still a favorite.  he immediately flips them over and takes the batteries out,
which he then proceeds to put in his mouth. 

he's cruising on the furniture, and taking more tumbles than ever as he explores.
i try (and will always) to catch him when he falls, but i sometimes miss.
i think this is harder on me than it is on him.
he is heavy and strong.  my muscles are bigger and my hair shorter.
he looks stellar in a jean jacket, rocks a ball cap, and has a killer smile.
not to mention he's freakin' hilarious.

we live we love we laugh all day.



* photo courtesy of my lovely and talented mom! *

Crawling into the weekend...

Dear Jake,

This is you - crawling away from me.

Is it pathetic silly that my heart cracks a little every time you go?

Though i'm your biggest fan and loudest cheerleader,

i can't help but feel a twinge or two as i watch you gaining your independence

and crawling off into the big wild world.

Stay here with me, just for a little while longer....

Dear Jake,

I wish I had a camera behind my eyes

so I could capture endless frames of your sweet silly face;

Memories to pull out, to examine and exclaim over, to cherish.

A million tiny little pieces of you,

pieces I'm sure to forget.

I wish I had a tape recorder in my ears

to record your sounds when you sleep, when you laugh, when you dream;

Something to listen to later on, when these sounds have faded away.

 A copy of your baby voice, 

before all of our real words drown it out.

I wish I could bottle the smell of your baby-fine hair after your bath,

and your baby milk breath, warm on my neck.

Forever feel the weight of you asleep on my shoulder,
and always see your eyes shine bright and clear as a winter night's sky. 

I wish I could forever capture all of your intoxicating baby-ness,

to have for later, when I will miss it dearly.

I hope I will remember your tiny ways when you are big and strong....

Love, Mom